Forever
by Lanna Suki
Summary: Three days after Haku's death, Zabuza comes to his grave, and releases his emotions. ((A one-shot, short story.))


For the record, I do not own Naruto nor the characters. So don't sue me, I have no money.  
  
Let's just say that Zabuza lived, and is now reflection on his thoughts and feelings about Haku after he died.  
  
This is taken from Zabuza's POV.  
  
~~~  
  
"Haku..." I kneel down infront of his grave. It's only been three days since his death, yet it feels like an eternity. Hah... Kakashi and those kids put up a cross. Slowly, I run my finger tips across it, staring down at the Earth where he lays now. I sigh as I begin to speak.  
  
"Haku... my friend, companion... you've always been by my side. I'm sorry that I didn't treat you right. I didn't always think of you as a tool... that was just my words. Inside, you were someone that I could always trust to help me."  
  
I lower my head as I feel the hot tears forming up into my eyes. It's getting harder to speak without my voice cracking.  
  
"In truth, I cared--no, care about you a lot. Dearly. You always tried to be so gentle and caring. I know that it hurt you a lot when you had to kill others, and it's my fault that you went through that hell. Please, Haku, forgive me."  
  
Instead of kneeling, I stretch out beside his grave on my side. My left arm being across the fresh dirt. I try to imagine that being his body. As long as I keep that image of him under my arm instead of the dirt, I can continue with my words.  
  
"I love you, Haku. I only wish I could've told you sooner, or treated you better. My heart is filled with so much hurt that I can't stand it. Yet, you died while trying to protect me... so I don't have to worry about you hating me. Or do you hate me? I know that when I die, we will not be in the same place. For I shall be in hell and rule with the devil, and you will be in heaven as a true angel would. It just hurts that I can't see your smiling face anymore..."  
  
Now I'm crying. Hard. I pull myself closer to the dirt as I place my cheek on it. I don't care if I get dirt on me, I really don't. I say his name softly over and over as my eyes start to burn from all the tears. I sit up once again and move my fingers around in the dirt. I should say my feelings to him--I need to.  
  
"Haku, why did you protect me? How could you protect someone like me? I didn't deserve it, I deserved to die. Not you. You should've continued living. Heh... you probably could've joined up with Kakashi and those kids. Or stayed with Tazuna and his family if they allowed it. It hurts so much, Haku... it hurts that I can't hold you... or confess these feelings straight to your face. Hopefully, somehow, you're hearing this. I guess I should continue living. After all, you did die so I could live, I guess."  
  
I release another sigh as I bring my hand to my eyes to wipe the tears away as I continue talking.  
  
"I want to take my own life, Haku. Suicide seems to be the only way that I can release this pain--but I won't be going to the same place as you, that's why I can't die. Koishii... I hope you don't mind me calling you that. Maybe I can atone for all the lives I've taken in hopes that when I die, I'll be reunited with you. You tried to help people instead of killing them, maybe I should try it. Just know that I'll live on with this pain in my heart."  
  
I reach behind my back to pull out the pieces of the broken mask he wore. Placing it on his grave, I close my eyes for a few moments and step back.  
  
"I must go now, Haku. I'm sorry I have to leave you. I'll come back, though, this time with flowers for your grave."  
  
I turn and walk away. The sun is going down now, and I guess I'll have to make camp somewhere and stay the night. The moments I had with Haku will now be memories and probably turn into dreams as I sleep. When I picture his face as he's dead, I'll probably break down again. But, if I picture him as he's smiling... that smiling face will keep me going forever. Haku... you'll be in my heart... forever.  
  
~~~  
  
So, did you like it? I felt like writing something like this, so I did. Anyways, for the people who are reading "Twisted Ways", I -PROMISE- I'll update with chapter 3 soon. I just have a major author's block with that story, so just bear with me. x_x; Gomen.  
  
---Kaoru. 


End file.
